Cousin Kenny

Every family has a weird or difficult relative. But I’m not sure every family has a Cousin Kenny. My cousin Kenny is actually my Dad’s cousin which really makes him my Great Cousin Kenny. Or as someone told me, my Great Cousin Kenny twice removed. Anyhow, Kenny is just one of those pure and good-natured empathetic souls that everyone is drawn to. He brings out the best in everyone. Kenny is from Little Rock, Arkansas so maybe it’s something in the water as even Little Rock has a humble name. A showy city would call itself Great Rock or BIG BAD Rock.

Great Cousin Kenny (GCK or GCKTR) recently came to town from California. He was visiting an old friend in Boca and then made a b-line to visit us in Jupiter. GCK called me before he left and asked what he should get everyone as whenever he visits, he always brings a special gift. I told him about my sister’s favorite restaurant and for the rest, See’s Suckers would do.

GCK would be every Relators dream because he’d do everything you asked. And get you a gift to top it off. I’ve had a few like that and the problem is we sell their house right away. It’s kinda strange but there is sadness when you have a great relationship and constant round-the-clock conversation with someone and just like that, it’s closing time. Poof.

The harder ones to sell are more like your Aunt Girtrude (Karen has had enough abuse so Girt will be substituted as I don’t think there are many Girts around anymore). Aunt Girts are problematic because of 6 items…

1. They don’t want to leave the house.

These people can’t help themselves. They want so badly to micromanage that they make little excuses, and small talk so they can see the potential buyers. Then once they are walking up the driveway the other Realtor asks if the Seller can move the car. Then the buyer has to get back into their car and now it is all aggravated and half don’t even want to see the house now. For this I invented the 15-minute Lie.

2. They don’t clean up.

“It’s a lived-in house. They can see through it” Typical Girt!!! One of my early clients stopped by my office the other day. When reminiscing he reminded me of how they came home from the golf course once and their whole house had been cleaned up. Mr. and Mrs. Simon were terrific clients and always did their best to clean up. Surprise showings happen. I’ve cleaned the dishes, made beds, and ran around like the maid. But when someone just doesn’t care, never cleans it, and then expects results, the results will come in people passing on the house. In order to sell a home in a market like this, Sellers need to stage their home properly and keep it as clean as a new construction model home. Grimy Girt will not sell in a tougher market.

3. They don’t want to give it away.

Every seller I’ve ever met says this. Even if they need to give it away because no one is living there, and the carry cost is killing them. I get what they are saying. They want to get the most they can for it. But Girts don’t want to get the market. It’s always a battle.

Girt – “Look at what that one is listed at.

Jeff – “Yes Girt, but it hasn’t sold”.

Girt – “Look at what that one sold for!!!”

Jeff – “Yes Girt but it has the same price as yours with better upgrades, a view, and a pool”.

Girt – “DON’T YOU KNOW THAT NOT EVEYONE WANTS A VIEW OR A POOL OR THAT MODERN NEW LOOK.” “MY WALL GIVES ME PRIVACY!!!”

4. EMERGENCY!!! URGENT!!!

Always followed by three explanation points!!! These come in every other day and just wear you out. And it’s never an emergency. Girt – We are on the same team!!!

5. Demand a new marketing plan every 5 days.

Photo shoots are photo shoots. The video is video. Matterport walk through tour is Matterport walk through tour. We hold different ads back to spread out over time but lots of marketing is really done in the first month and then placement for social, google ad words, email reports, etc. is constant. Ads sit there and work when the buyer is ready to purchase. You pay attention to a car ad when you are ready to purchase a car. The quality of photos and having the right video in place is just done and populated to 1000’s of websites. Open houses, talking with other brokers, and new social media campaigns do indeed give a lift. This JJ email for instance has links to our open houses and listings. It’s also doing double duty selling our homes. As long as I’m somewhat interesting, I’m also serving our clientele. Our listing program covers 57 items, is crazy comprehensive, and guaranteed We call it Our Home ECHOnomics Guarantee. Sometimes though the market is talking to you and adjusting to it is critical assuming the photos, video, social, ad placement etc. is on par.

6. Step over a dollar to pick up a dime.

The Great Cousin Kenny’s of the world understand when you are giving staging advice or advising them to take care of an issue, so it doesn’t pop up on inspection where a demand to fix it becomes a more expensive demand or worse, a deal killer. Cousin Kenny just does what you ask him to do and says thanks by giving you a See’s Sucker. Girt on the other hand, thinks the advice you are giving her makes her a sucker. She would rather save the dime but ends up losing the dollar or the deal.

The other problem is sometimes you get a Kenny who is married to Girt. Kenny if you reading this….Elenor is just as sweet as the See’s Suckers you brought and definitely no Aunt Girt!