The Limpkins

An angry teenager was screaming by our bedside window at 3am. Or at least that was the horrifying first thought of what the creature’s wail sounded like. Others say its noises are like something out of a Stephen King horror movie with a soundtrack of loud eerie shrieks. Others say the piercing blares remind them of a crying sound, all through the night. Whatever the case, there isn’t much you can do about the “Limpkin” and their screeching call.

The Limpkin decides to be verbal mostly between midnight and 6am. If the Limpkin were a worker for you, he would be your most valuable employee. The limpkin takes the shift nobody wants and works consistently straight though the night. He never shuts up. Even when you hear a slight pause, it’s only for 3-4 seconds. Then he starts up again. You can hear our particular Limpkin at 5:45am right here.

I sent a video to my friend Larry. He said his better half sounds like ½ a Limpkin when she is mad at him.

As for solutions for Lucifer the Limpkin… Chat offers some. You can’t get rid of them as they are protected by law. However, they like to eat apple snails by the edge of the lake. Nothing against removing those although I don’t know if they are tasty. Chat said plastic alligators might work. Although the real alligators might get me if I try to pick up those apple snails. You can hang up old CD’s, aluminum foil, or commercial bird-repellent tape in the trees to create a flashing light. I think Chat is goofing with me!

For resale purposes, a Limpkin (fun fact: Limpkins limp when walking – hence the name limpkin) is ok on your property since most don’t want a second showing at 3am. Other noises are of more concern. Here are 12 blares that kill deals. Reverse those 10 for things to be aware of if you are purchasing. On the listing side, we have some solutions from your friendly ECHO agents to solve the migraine you get from the clatter of the home sitting.

1. Train Noise
Do you have to disclose a train whistle? One of my favorite tunes is Paul Simon’s, “A Train in the Distance”. Rhymin’ Simon is right which is why it wasn’t “A Train by your Earlobe”. Nothing can kill a deal like a train whistle blowing off in the middle of a showing. It’s a definite disclosure. If you are selling by the tracks and you get an offer you are on the fence on, take it. Homes can sit a while.

2. Road Noise
Ah, the soothing sounds of I95 or the turnpike. Only the hard of hearing don’t mind it.

3. Air Conditioners
Loud!

4. Exhausts
Bathrooms have these and the noise can be annoying on a showing.

5. Squeaky Doors
It says your house is dated.

6. Floors
If they are noisy it can ruin a deal.

7. The neighbors
Kids in the pool or playing loud music will scare Buyers off

8. The Landscapers
Landscapers with their lawnmowers and blowers for leaves make you run with your cell phone to another room just to hear the person on the other line. Imagine what your buyer is doing on the showing.

9. Sliding Doors
It’s like nails on the chalkboard when a slider doesn’t open and close properly.

10. Pickleball Players
Pock Pock Pock. Pickleball courts nearby can drive people batty.

11. Pets
Best to have them out of the showing. Yipping, barking, yapping, whimpering. No one wants to hear that.

12. New Construction
Back to Rhymin’ Simon. “I’d rather be a hammer than a nail”. Well, you feel like the nail when you live next to new construction.

Solutions (all of these can be reversed – to be aware of if you are the Buyer)

1. Impact glass
Other than the Limpkins, Impact Glass today solves a lot of noise issues. From Pickleball noise to New construction to Trains. It’s worth having just for that reason.

2. Water features
Fountains are not only pretty but they smooth out that drumming sound you get from cars whizzing by.

3. Scheduling Time
Don’t take rush hour showings and if the wind is blowing (it carries sound). Be careful of showings at that hour.

4. Pool features
If you don’t have a waterfall or spa in your pool, purchase a water feature hookup to sit in the middle of the pool.

5. Music
A bit of mood smooth jazz on ever so slightly will drawn out much of the clitter clatter.

6. Chimes
Don’t overdo it and become the weird chime person, but chimes are also a good trick and people like them.

7. Battery Pack
Ask the landscapers not to come during showing hours or have a battery pack for their blowers instead of gas.

8. Rules
Look at rules and regulations so you know what time at night the community pool party or pickleball courts close.

9. Pets

Take em’ with you when showing.

10. WD40
Cheap and a must when listing your home. Use it plentifully.

As for solutions for the noisy neighbors…that is a tougher one. But if you are selling because of the Limpkin, bring them your old CD’s, aluminum foil, commercial bird-repellent tape, and a plastic alligator. Once that shriek stops, those neighbors will be eating out of your hand.