Transition Homes

Some people count sheep to go to sleep. On the highway to Tallahassee, I count golf carts to stay awake. Seven is still the record of golf carts passing over The Villages overpass in Sumter County. This time of the year the heat keeps the older folk inside so the record should stay intact! We’ve made this drive from Jupiter maybe 20 times back and forth. It’s flat, lots of Wendy’s at the Turnpike food court, and seven hours of the most boring highway roads with lots of traffic. Sometimes up to ten hours with accidents and construction. You usually need a good chiropractic adjustment afterwards.

Today might be our last day in Tallahassee. As you are reading this, I’m probably on the way to our daughter’s graduation at FSU beaming with pride as she graduates, or counting off the Chicago Bears roster in my head, desperately trying to look awake as the other 793 kids in her major are having their names alphabetically read aloud.

After almost 28 years of parenting and having kids in school, a new phase has begun. Sometimes the kids come back and sometimes they don’t.

We are running some television commercials and a social media campaign on the emotion of transitions that take place while living in a home.

When we take a listing at ECHO, we interview the house. Homeowners can tell the stories and let the walls speak.

Our house is kind of a perfect size for us as we avoided the dreaded “mistake phase” and it fitted us fine for the dream home phase.

Home Living transitions typically fit into seven different phases.

1. S*** H*** Rental

I guess you could count college dorms or living in a Frat or Sorority house as the first transition but those usually always involve roommates and too many drunken stupors. There is also the moving back home phase which is happening a lot right now because of the cost of living. Our son is living at home and judiciously taking money out of each paycheck into a separate bucket bank account for his first-place next year. One of our friends’ kids was living in a posh gated community in Jupiter. Their parents spent 6 months of the year there. So, basically her own luxury crib. She landed a killer job locally but wanted to venture out and live in a city. Made a lateral move and now is in a 300 square feet rental in Boston. 300 square feet gets you a living room, kitchen, primary bed, and bathroom all in the same room! AKA a s*** h***.

2. Starter Home

First time home buyers get all sorts of city and government incentives. This place isn’t exactly what you want. It might even be a s*** h*** fixer upper but it’s yours. And looking back it should be one of the happiest times of your life. It’s a place you earned with hard work and an accomplishment of the American dream.

3. Family Home

When you have 2 kids and 1 ½ baths, it’s time for the family home. You stretch for this. Your kids’ formative years will be here. Sometimes if you pick the right neighborhood and home that’s the perfect size, it might last a lifetime.

4. Dream Home

When you’ve really made it and are doing well, the dream home is that jump from family home to the home you always wanted. If you make it big time than you get the “trophy home.” And the billionaires have many trophies.

5. Vacation Home

A lot of people who achieved the dream home also achieve the vacation home, in Florida aka a snowbird home. Sometimes snowbirds start out between various stages of 2-4 when moving here.

6. Downsize

At later phases, people go through the transition to a smaller place. Sometimes it’s about money savings. Other times it’s safety reasons as falling from stairs can speed up the aging process or even kill. Just taking care of a big home becomes too stressful.

7. 55+ and Assisted Living

Lots of people plan for this and skip the downsize or add this step in place. Assisted living communities are not what they once were. Florida has tons of these and throughout the country there is huge demand for baby boomers.

Mistake homes happen and throw a curveball through various transitions. Divorce puts some spouses back once again into the s*** h*** rental or stress of hanging on to a home and being house poor. Loss of income in hard times, sickness, and condo commandos make people crazy. Pets not having enough room or not being allowed can force a transition. We’ve thought of moving once all of our kids are out for good. But going up and down the elevator with the dog isn’t exactly part of the dream home phase.

Letting go is never easy. It often marks a passage of time. Jade has her room on the second floor, and the staircase overlooks our family room and open kitchen. It would be sad for her if we sold. Us too. One person I talked to a few days ago was having their spouse not wanting to let go of a house that made no sense for them anymore. Moving on was correct but the memories and transitions to the next period can be hard to move past. Sometimes for someone who lost a spouse in a big home, they can get stuck in the past and stop living in the present.

I visited 2121 Tanglewood where I grew up from age 4-13 for an hour. The couple who owned it were happy to give us a tour. Or perhaps we were giving them a tour of its history. The living room looked smaller than it was. My dad’s tiny bathroom getting blown out large. Weeping Willows in the big backyard. Egress window wells where I would capture the frogs. In the front of the house were these semicircle rocks where I used to sit for hours. I would turn over the rocks and see all the worms and creatures and imagine contently. Or the side of the house where I’d throw a tennis ball off the wall and my 44 with Chet Lemon on the back of the white t-shirt making a diving catch to win a game. Moving on for some is so hard. I’ve seen it countless times. But I repeat my story and remind them that I didn’t pay taxes or HOA or have to pay to fix up a water pipe disaster. Your memories stick with you.

I’m excited for Jade and all the new class of graduates. The big transition has begun. But why do I have a feeling we are going to pay for the s*** h*** first rental. S***!